annoying facebook parents

http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/

work out

mundane things that happen in my life:

so i was out late last night. came in to work hungover and all I could think about was tea. i ached for it. yearned for the sweet nectar of tea. like a moth to the flame. there was no choice in the matter.
hey beanpoutine i made a pot of tea..its in the shitty room where the tea is made.
thanks co-worker i appreciate that!

so i walked to the room and absentmindingly plopped a bag of tea down into my mug. and poured into it with the tea recepticle that was there. which also had tea in ti. so i poured tea into a cup with a bag of tea in it. double tea. double tea.
way too much tea. the concentration of tea in thsi cup is far exceeeding what i am used to. i am worried about the tea. tea tea tea tea tea tea
i will report back on my findings pretaining to the tea.

emails from an asshole

http://www.dontevenreply.com/

the office S1 E4

THE FUTURE

Wet Hot American Summer

Perfect summer movie.
Absolutely hilarious.
One of my favs. just watch it.

consumeconsume

I have made a new blog. It only has music videos. please visit. im sure you will like it. www.consumeconsume.tumblr.com

Craigslist post of week-Going Natural

"that I'm done with"
http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/zip/1224070539.html

beanpoutine budget meeting

thanks everyone who showed up for the quarterly budjet meeting at the marriot last night. i think we really smoothed out some of the rough patches concerning funding for further reasearch into funny cat viudeos and cybergoth pictyures. its been such a ride lately. youll be courieroured the full project binder by the end of the week. thanks for the opening remarks alan from clients and markets.
remember everyone!
"you cant get to the top without pulling a full U-ey at the end of the trail that leads to another trail which confuses/disorientes you with intructionst aht are not correct (and are mislabeled) in order to succeeed in life and business!"
-me

burgers were good to all of us

music:


art

Listen boy, while you're under my roof, its my rules, and burgers is all about them rules. Burgers were good to me, and they're good to you.

cannibalism and you!

a few posts ago I spoke of cannibalism. specifically who I have permitted to eat me when the time (burnt out wasteland) comes. "the chosen few" if you may. our good friend matty brought up some serious concerns pretaining to this eventuallity.
he asked whether the chosen few should wait till I am dead or not.
my answer: no.
i am comfortable with you murdering me and feasting on my flesh in order to survive.

I hjave develioped a series of flow charts and vision boards that will enable ytou to better understand this process. ill post them later today.

R KELLY

R. Kelly. like a beautiful bird singing a song of summer caring and love with rivers of happiness(and friendship). r kelly is the voice of a generation. my generation. R KELLY is the only musician making new sheet these dfays. TRAPPED IN A CLOSET? i posted bout it months ago. BUT IF YOU HAVENT WATHched it get to it ASAP. its explode your axss genius.a hiphopera of epicness and such. are there any r and b hip hop guys who would make such self depricating amazing stuff? i submit that there are not. im gonna have a screening of all 22 episodes(and apparently hes releasing 12 more soon) in the coming week at the beanpoyutine head office. see you there!
CHAPTERS 1-12:

YO FRIUENDXZ

her4e some pics. i love ytou all so mucy. this is so hard for me to admit. my tears are flowing like a ray of sunshine (vry passioate). like thgat lisa loeb song n shiit. i lvoeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuu alll.

leslie lemke

this is a video repost from a few months ago but we thought that we would give it another try. simply because. the husband and wife in this video. DESERve their own TV show. leslie is amazing. but wow. that woman. shes someting. i want to be friends with her.

paternity test

search "maury paternity test" on youtube. hilarity. this one features a great dance.

the chosen few

after many late nights of deliberation I have chosen my picks for friends/loved ones that are permitted to eat me in the event of some sorta cataclysmic event. if you have received an envelop in the mail start making preparationas. yee the time will come. the ancient runestones spoke of it. as it was written.

all kidding aside. they (the government) should develop some sort of cannibal body donation card like they have for organ donation. with the yaer 2012 upcoming and such there is bound to be a breakdown of sociuety eventyually. why dont we prepare by having people fill out cards (to carry in wallet or around neck on lanyard) thjat indicates if they are ok with being eaten by the hoards of bloodthuirsty cannibals. will make the transition into burnt out wasteland ala the road much easier

just a thought.

THREADS/THE ROAD

THE END OF US ALL. Heres a couple of depressors for all my emo readers.(combination of both not recommended same week/day)

1.So I just finished the Cormac McCarthy book: THE ROAD. flipping amzing. man and son survivign after civilization ending event in burnt up cannibal wasteland. its a must read friends. seriously soooo good. a movie is coming out soon about it with viggo. but read the book. cormac. cormac.Link: the road.

2. somewhat related to the road: 1984 BBC docudrama titled Threads that deals with a nuclear war between soviets and the west and the subsequent fallout...and breakdown of society. sooo depressing and messed up. its a watcher if you have an hour and a half of time. chug down the whiskey and settle in for some good times!!!!

lets start a business bros!

hits

we get some hits from strange places. but today one took the cake

Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia

REAL TALK #2

real talk

I dont believe we have enough real talk going on here at beanpoutine. the real issues are being glossed over by videos of fat kids falling and amazing wiccan spirit goddess poetry. so lets start with the real talk friends.

Ive been fighting a nasty cold for a couple of days now. skipped work yesterday but hadta go into the BP office to TCB (take care of business) today despite my illness. I jumped on my ride which had a soggyu seat cause i left it outside overnight in the rain. hadta go back inside andfind a plasticbag to put over it. anywho. so i jumped on my ride and was off. being as that I was sick i felt kinda woozy and proceeded to cough. and then cough up a nasty amount of sickness from my innards. and right as I was about to spit it out kinda grossly as I rode.... a super cute neighborgirl pulled up behind me on her bike. the sickness was still in my mouth but iw as afraid to spit it for fear of super gorssing her out n shit. i tried to bike slowly so she could pass me but she was a shitty biker or soemthing and did not pass. this went on for too long. couldnt swallow cause thats gross. fuck where was I going with this. oh ya. real talk. so eventually she turned right and I was able to spit. RIGHT ONTO THE FACE of an old asian man who for some reason was wearing boxers as shrots! HA! joking. that part didnt happen. woulda been a good story if it did.REAL TALK

REAL TALK

superheros

My top 4 superhero

4!

3!

2!

1!

watch this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqxENMKaeCU

Nine

only song I like right now

great spirit potion

vry helpful. remember can only be used by palidans 80 hp or higher bros
http://tibia.wikia.com/wiki/Great_Spirit_Potion

things that currently consume me

1. you baby. only you.

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

marry me

i teared up when i sawr this invite to a wedding. anyone want to marry me. so we can do cool things like this. live on a cloud and only eat quesadillas for all of eternity. i would be a lathe operator in northbay and you a super model who dabbled in professional chinese checkers. we will host dinner parties and get black out drunk every other day. our love will flourish. yet i would slowly grow to dispise your lack of affection and develop a online foot fetish addiction that consumes me. marriage counselling wouldnt help and a short rainy trip to costa rica would be a tipping point which leads to our divorce. years later after we had remarried i bump into you at a wendys in stouffville. nothing is said. but a single tear falls from your eye into your supersized fries. our love would live on forever on the itnernets. in the form of this wedding invite. i die regretting so much. you will die from a combination of hyperlipidemia and terrible sciatica. i love you babdy. i love you so much. like drops of jupiter in your hair baby. drops of jupiter. in your hair.
via

look at this

i was just gonna steal some of their top quality content when i realized how great of a resource this website really is. its the perfetct stuck in your cubicle because you havent finished the year end report and your wife has been riding your ass about fixing the kithcen while your good for nothing kids drive you crazy about going to the mall everyday and your savings dwindle as your crippling secret addiction to poppycoick consumes you....time waster. the "best ofs" on the right hand side are esp perfect.

LINK FIXED BROS CLICK HERE

drops of jupiter

vision board

will fill in later. relates to what was written below about the summer flowchart.

huge project of great importance

im exhausted from a new huge project of great importance that we here at beanpoutine have been working on. you may remember previous huge projects such as: (i will provide links to these later)(too lazy to track them down)

Reptilian Humanoids: Friend or Foe?

Guido Douchebags and Global Economic Turblulence

Wiccan Earth Goddess Poetry Slam 2008

Beanpoutine has a serious clutter problem in his apartment: A Case Study

and lest we forget Funny Pictures of People eating huge burgs
etc etc etc
but now. as the weather gets warmer and libidious hearts yearn for more. we have been working on a series of flowcharts. thats right. flowcharts that will unearth the key to having a fun summer. next couple of days youll be exposed to the first of many. EDIT: MAY INVOLVE COLLAGES/BRISTOL BOARD

blessed be the internet!
(repost)

thank you all!

my fellow brotehrs and sisters! thank you all for following this website for so long. blessed be how far we have come. the ancient runestones spokle of a time when mother earth would bring us great ancient wisdom and prophecy. that time is here. ther internets have provided an overflowing chalice of magik in these trying times. look to the wax (and wane) of the moon for guidance my fellow sisters of the coven. thank you all sov ery much for sharing this time of plenty with myself and all the spirit people that cioexist amoungst us. im bloody well crying as i type this btw. see you all at the next gathering at the airport hilton in august!
blessed be all of us!

words i overuse

shitface
fucktard
antiquated
sweaters
poo
internet
HJ
awesome
especuiallly