Thursday, July 31, 2008

homo computerus

lets take stock of where we are as westerners.
I work in a big faceless company that owns floor after floor of offices in the downtown area. much alike many other thousands of people in both toronto and elsewhere i work in one of these offices in front of a computer. a computer. we are changing as a species because of these screened menaces. ergonomic chairs. footrests. little pictures of cats doing funny things. wrist gaurds so you dont get repetitive stress on your fucking wrists. repetitive!@ like the idea of doing soemthing so often that such a thing would happen is such a mindfuck. you know what they (our alien overlords) usually get to do jobs like that..fucking robots. the pale computer weary robo-workers of my company are crying out. crying out for some sort of solace in a world that wants them to type type type type. what will be become. i beseech you toni braxton. help usssssssssssss



Wednesday, July 30, 2008


Tuesday, July 29, 2008

LARP MOPVIE

finnaly we will be accepted! (after people see this movie)
http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/monstercamp/trailer/

disturbing kids shows

the last one is best. thanks mentalfloss
http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/16069

doggy condoms


Monday, July 28, 2008

craigslist post of week #12

email this posting to a friend best of craigslist > phoenix > Space Ship for Sale $3500.00 or best offer
Originally Posted: Mon, 18 Feb 15:09 MST

Space Ship for Sale $3500.00 or best offer
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2008-02-18, 3:09PM MST

This space ship is in excellent condition! Only 300 million Intergalactic miles, 4 passenger, no meteor dents, possibly needs reactor seals and recharged flux capacitor, 1 owner. Still have the original owners manual. Does have a wobble issue at Mach 12 but clears once it hits 15 not sure what that is but I lose the GPS screen for about a minute or so. Complete with bubble glass windows! Never crashed! For sale $3500 OBO. Clear title in hand, cash sale only, no trades and I won't take payments. Once it leaves the earth, I know you are not coming back so why would I??? DUH! It needs some TLC like an alignment and new landing sensors. Stored in a secure warehouse in Phx. Must sell City of Phx pressuring me, they say it's an eye sore?? It's on my front lawn and it's burnt the grass last year when it was running, I have the re entry burners turned up to kill the termites and scorpions when landing.

seriys prblam in tudaqys tciiety




zombie dating

zombie dating service. thanks neatorama
http://www.zombieharmony.com/

Friday, July 25, 2008

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

omg i'm rich~! check out the email i got

Our Ref: FGN /SNT/STB
THIS IS TO OFFICIALLY INFORM YOU THAT YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS HAS BEEN ATTACHTO AN INHERITANCE FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOURPAYMENT AND YOU HAVE NOT FULFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS GIVEN TO YOU IN RESPECTOF YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE PAYMENT. SECONDLY WE HAVE SECURE THE RELEASE OF THE FUND TO YOU. YOU ARE TO CONTACTTHE INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUNDS DEPARTMENT CARD PAYMENT CENTER.

NAMES : Dr. ADAM SMITHEMAIL ADDRESS: atm-dept-2008@hotmail.com AND ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATIONS:
1. YOUR FULL NAME......
2. PHONE AND FAX NUMBER......
3. ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND THE ATM CARD.....
4. YOUR AGE/SEX.....
5. CURRENT OCCUPATION.....
6. PRESENT COUNTRY.....

THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT AN ATM CARDVALUE OF {USD 6.8 MILLION} WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY INANY ATM MACHINE, IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD AS PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR2008,YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH ANY OTHER PERSON(S)OROFFICE(S) TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN RECEIVING YOUR PAYMENT. NOTE THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OFCONDUCT,WHICH IS (ATM-822) SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE WHENCONTACTING THE CARD CENTER BY USING IT AS YOUR SUBJECT.

KINDEST REGARDS,
Mr J. C. WILLIAMS
CHIEF AUDITOR TO THE PRESIDENT(COMMITTEE CHAIRMAN)

Glacier surfing

beanpoutines hobbies: playing DandD in cousins basement. larping in centennial park with andrew. studying goths, ravers, and cybergoths. eating hostffs and pizza pockets while watching revenge of the sith. organizing my warhammer figurines.
other peoples hobbies: going to alaska and waiting for a glacier to break off cauysing a huge wave and then surfing that wave in freezing cold water.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

beijing olympics photoseries

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/07/beijing_2008_preparations_thre.html

improv everywhere

hey friends of itnernets

go to youtube and type in "improv everywhere".
there are some great videos. grand central station and food court musical etc

my tats

chicks are always loving my tats. when I am at sneaky's eating my kings crown all the other people are jealous of my art. im much more unique then all of them combined cause of my tats and they know it. they make me look cool and hard n shit. my tats express who i am. check them out guyz

(ME)


Sunday, July 20, 2008

the dark knight

shitty quality cam version. better to see it in theatres/
http://bedroommedia.co.uk/index.php?option=com_jmovies&Itemid=28&task=detail&id=703

enchiladas!

gonna make some today after my unvcles handfasting ceremony in sunnybrook park (vry romantic)!!
http://www.elise.com/recipes/archives/000055enchiladas.php

things beanpoutine appreciates

a good sponge
clean sheets
wiccan weddings/handfasting ceremonies

the smell of matches
well dressed old men
horticulture
the word "poo"
good internets
you guyz! BFF

Thursday, July 17, 2008

my new roomate!

http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/apa/751686373.html

the spread of walmart

its like a clubpack-babies mama-exco-huge parking lot.....disease

http://projects.flowingdata.com/walmart/

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

more internets



Hottie Fight - Watch more free videos

girl in vending machine

fail blog

best picture blog on the net:
http://failblog.org/

my fav band

no one can deny good music. good music is like a beautiful river of solitary delight of beauyt and intruiegue with waves of beayuty. i have floated down that river with my fav band many lonley nights. i have danced with all my might in that river bymyself in my room. i have loved that river. that river is mine. it is all of ours. that river is B4-4


B4-4 is our generations beatles. making undeniably beauitiful pop ballads they have created epic musical moments for all of us to enjoy. all the h8tors in the world wwho arent down tiwht this canadian music can look to their juno nomiation as proof of their greatness. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B4-4 Ohad had the voixe of an angel when i saw them play at the legion hall in markham 3 weeksago. i am sad that they dont get the respect that they deserve but will forecer live on in my memory and in their amazing two albums "in your face (german only)" and "b4-4."

I made a website in their honor here: http://b44issogood.5u.com/
Check out some of their killer tuines/music videos:

birds

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?cl=8704649

thanks boing boing!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

roots of wicca revealed!

Friday, July 11, 2008

hey bro

lets go get our chests waxed this weekend and then pick up some bitchs at wasaga. braaaap!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

love in this Chuck E. Cheese


good morning interwebs

so I woke up this morning super fucking hungry. the shitty pizza I had the night b4 at the rush coincert (see below) was burinning a hole in me stomach. so i stumbled into our newly cleaned kitchen to chow down on a bowl of honey almond granola. yum. i grab the bowl. pull the granola down from ontop of the fridge..pour...when....A FUCKING huge moth flies out of the granola bag into my bowl. HUGE. like wtf lolz!? is this the life i am living. where moths attack me at my weakest moment. kill me. please

anywho

so im sitting in my office right now and out my huge window(im a big wig at the cracker factory) there are these two ropes shakeing around n stuff. coming from one of those window cleaning units. so I know that at some poiint today there will be a dude staring right at me cleaning my window. it will probably be awkward. should i drop my blinds now? preemtively? would save me from trying not to make eye contact.

please help interwebs. help meeeeeeeeeee

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

rush

I am going to see rush (haha ug) tonight at the molson aplictheathre. I will give a review of the show later tonight. i am going with an old bigwig partner gujy from work. i couldnt think of an excuse when he called. i dont know him at all. he said hes going with friends. prolly old people as well. sigh. oh beanpoutine. why do you do this to yourself. rush.

should be itneresting

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

arty fun!

beanpoutine lives with some great artists.






juliana on the left me in the middle and sammy on the right in the picture below. we are on our way to the magic card tourny at the gamesworkshop in the eatons center. sammy got in 4th place!. i died from a dwarfs tree spell in the 13th round nfortunylu. juliana came down with a bloody nose and had to sit the tourny out (again!).

weird ebays things for sale on ebay

http://www.whattheheck.com/ebay/index.html

my personal fav:
http://www.whattheheck.com/ebay/algore.html

too bad beanpoutine already owns the internet.

Monday, July 7, 2008

graphic novels

my fav:

watchmen
black hole
blankets
sleepwalk and other stories
jimmy corrigan

how to pick up the womsn

beanpiouytine is quite the casanova on the interwebs with the woemns. he has nearly 300 friends on facebook and is constantly making big moves on the ladies at the wiccan chat room (http://www.wicca-chat.com/chat.htm)

much of what i have learned has come from takking notes from demiotri the lover who has got a bad rap as of late :
http://jezebel.com/5020419/dimitri-the-lovers-history-of-sexual-assault-weapons-stockpiling-and-psychiatric-evaluations
but he still knows how charm all the toronto ladies. take notes guys picking up the womens is this easy:

Recipe #4: taste sadnwich!

this is a super easy tastey non meat sandwich for you to eat.
you will need:
loaf of nice bread. ciabatta if you have it.
roma tomatoes
delish mozeralla
fresh basil
olive oil
balsamic
pep and salt to taste

slice up tomato and mozzerealla into disks. chiffonade the basil(chop in strips). stack and then finish off with bit of balsamic and olive oil mixed up and drizzled on sandwich. pep and salt.
throw in oven or toaster oven for a shrot time for tasteyness.

simple snakc!

Friday, July 4, 2008

baby toss

Thursday, July 3, 2008

wicca unite!

beanpoutine has been working on a little side project for the last few weeks. its taken countless late nights and hundreds of ranch-chicken hotstuffs to complete. my opus. my piece de resistance.

the wiccan cronicles/guidebook.

http://www.angelfire.com/realm2/amethystbt/wiccanstory.html

my personal fav is the peice on oldspells. in the days of fairies elves and goblins how could you be sure your baby wasnt a changling? Select all the text to reveal the secret messages from our ancient sisters fyi btw.
http://www.angelfire.com/realm2/amethystbt/oldspells.html

pathetic things I steal from work

-toilet paper
-tea bags
-tons and tons of interwebs...stole at least 5 already today
-granola bars
-souls
-ttc tokens
-rain ponchos(orange)
-leftovers from catered meetings(lots of old sandwichs)
-pens pens pens pens pens pens pens pens pens pens pens pens pens pens pens pens pens pens

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

when bands attack

some real goodies here: (fourth one down is fucking amazing..using a guitar as a bashing weapon)
http://blog.wired.com/music/2008/06/videos-egregiou.html

tornadoes

are kinda cool. real fast spinning air that messes stuff up. very odd and amazing. proof that our god is angry at us for not sacrificing enough goats and virgins.

10 most destructive tornadoes ever:
http://www.scienceray.com/Earth-Sciences/Meteorology/10-Most-Destructive-Tornadoes-From-Around-the-World.142263

Cool tornado videos