something has happened at work. i work for a big company. many boring faces and dull characters i see very often. i have recently greeted myself into an awkward situation that some of you might be familiar with: the expected hello. About a week ago I said hi to this guy i sometimes see around, not knowing really who he was or ever talking to him or nutthn. Now everytime I see him I have to say hi cause of that first time. you may be thinking...ooo big deal you anti-social weiner. but when you see the person like 10 times in a day..and have nothing at all to ever talk about its a big deal. its fucked. its like i have signed some terrible awkward contract with dullness. I have gone so far as to not walk in areas where he usually congregates. sigh. me="hey" him="hey"*10 times a day=annoying. fack.like i cant just stop saying hi to him cause he will recognize that and it will be so much worse from then on. we will both remember that period when we said hey to each other and the unspoken awkwardness will be ,,,bad..,.., fack
i have learned a valuable lesson. never be friendly.
any tips or ideas will be greatly appreciated.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
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4 comments:
Tough situation you've got there.
Have you considered the behavioural strategy of fading? Each time you say hi, sound slightly less enthusiastic to be seeing him, also lowering your voice. Eventually you should get to a point where you are only grumbling and nodding. Over time only recognize him in every other instance you see him. Continue this process until the expectation is disolved. In this way, there is no social akwardness from the sudden withdrawl of social recognition, also known in behavioural circles as an 'extinction burst'.
The Kingston Behaviourist
I think Andr--I mean the "Kingston Behaviorist" has a point, but there's also the idea where you tell horribly off-colour jokes to him, and hope one of them offends him enough to scare him off.
The suggestion of telling such types of "horribly off-colour jokes" in the hopes of offending this co-worker away (thus decreasing the akward behaviour of 'the expected greeting') relies on the behavioural principles of punishment. Contrary to popular belief, punishment is not an effective means of decreasing behaviours, because it has been shown to work only in the short term, and to be associated with other negative consequences (such as aggression). That is, perhaps the cycle of akward hellos will cease temporarily, but it is likely to return with a vengence. Even worse is the potential that your "buddy" could turn around and punch you in the mouth - but hey, that at least would make things interesting right?
Some friendly feedback from The Other Kingston Behaviourist ;)
all great suggestions. we have one party saying that i should slowly decreaase the hi's. another with the offensive jokes. and another that says that punishment is bad. i might as well tell you waht i did then.
i killed him.
i waited for him to leave at night, followed hiom to his car and hit him over the head with my bike lock. well he might not be dead. i dunno.
problem solved i suppose.
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